Day 53 - Issue 26
Psalm 121:1-2 NLT
'I look up to the mountains – does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!'
When I hit trouble and life becomes uncomfortable, I instinctively look for a means of escape. I hate waking and immediately experiencing the weight of despondency reminding me things are unravelling in my life. I am not in control of my emotions and my last point of reference is God. I try many alternatives, from venting to retreating from life, and this behaviour is accompanied by grandiose statements of disastrous intent. Will I carry them through? No! It just feels good to make catastrophic statements when I feel I’m under the cosh. It releases some raw emotion.
Good news is that God is still present. Jayne is helpful to me here. She knows me and also my commitment to walk the way of the contemplative. Yet, she also spots when my wheels may be coming off and bravely steps in, without a whiff of judgement. My initial reaction is defensive, because I’m so caught up in myself and my moment of despair, I don’t really want any help. Yet, rather than be left to my own potentially destructive devices, it’s important to be reminded of the presence of God in my miserable moment.
In an age of ‘quick fixes’ and diminishing compassion, we all feel increasingly isolated within our social space. Contemporary living affords little time for crafting community, and no longer values the practice while still loudly applauding the concept. In fact, ideas today are two a penny, while practical experience takes some searching. So, gazing hopefully towards some high solution will never resolve my emotional turmoil. It’s learning to trust God with the outcome, whatever that outcome might be. It’s discovering that I am God’s beautiful creation and God will not lose confidence in me.
I sometimes lose confidence in God and myself. It’s a question of learning to dig deep to discover God in my moments of turmoil, when my life is interrupted in ways I dislike. This is a skill. I need to learn it and then practise it. I am slowly making improvement.
QUESTION: Who brings you encouragement and help when you need it? Give thanks to God for them.
PRAYER: Lord, I’m grateful for the people you have given me who encourage me.
