Day 19 - Issue 26
Psalm 88:6 NLT
'You have thrown me into the lowest pit, into the darkest depths.'
As a child I enjoyed riding my bike out into the countryside and then going for a long woodland walk. The problem was when I lost my bearings and then my way so that I became lost. I eventually made it back to my bike on each occasion, yet often only after a number of hours of complete lostness.
The nature of lostness is aloneness. All decisions are mine to make, and I make them based upon a measure of intuition and reason. I call out to God, yet I am lost and so disconnected from his voice. I make my way as best I can. I feel it is God who has put me in the darkness, who is responsible for my lostness. How can I trust him? Yet, equally what will I do once I refuse to trust him? I am in a quandary and on the edge of deep despair. I know within that God has a total commitment to my welfare, yet I’m not experiencing any sense of support or encouragement.
It is said that the night is darkest in those moments preceding the dawn. Lost and confused, frustrated with my life experience, out of touch with God, it was my call whether to continue in obedience to an unseen deity or throw off all I believed and begin again. I assume we’ve all been tempted in this way. I walked on through the dark with my unseen Lord as my light. This felt foolish and strange, yet I determined to continue with the One I’d chosen to believe in.
I chose not to speak of my pain or sense of abandonment. I laid all that at God’s feet. I saw I was in the field of temptation God allows us to enter for our own maturation process. Yes, there is the opportunity for disobedience and sin, yet how does one ever progress without challenge? Temptation provides the classroom within which I am invited to develop my Christian maturity, assurance and decision-taking.
QUESTION: Do you feel inclined to blame God for your circumstances?
PRAYER: Lord, where can I go and you are not there?
