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John 13:37 NLT

“But why can’t I come now, Lord?” he asked. “I’m ready to die for you.”

I have made more outrageous promises than I care to recall. Here Peter does just that, assuming that his hero complex will carry him through the real terrors of execution. History reveals what Jesus foretold, and Peter had to eat his valiant words. Not that Jesus judged him. Just that Jesus always knows what lies within the heart of humanity. We, unfortunately, require a lifetime of learning.

I enjoy a challenge and finding solutions. I think this lies behind my readiness to promise the undeliverable, a promise always made in good faith. I also all too easily accept the promises of others and then become depressed when such promises remain unfulfilled. Where once I was incensed, I now remain relaxed, chastened by my own readiness to overcommit. It is only as life has confronted and tested me that I have been able to develop a more balanced approach to living. I am aware of my own shortcomings and am no longer prepared to hold another to any higher standard than I recognise I might achieve.

Peter was sobered, no doubt, by his denial. Perhaps out of shame he drifted back to fishing, his old life, before being restored over a beach breakfast with Christ. I too look back at the implosion of my faith as the struggle to navigate our journey through MS took its toll. Others, I fear, still hold me captive to that implosion, yet I have breakfasted with Christ and know both forgiveness and renewed calling. I cannot erase my past, nor should I, for it is that past with its ups and downs that has laid the foundation for who I am today. It is who I am in the present moment that best reflects who I am. And I am a far better reflection of Jesus today than I was some years ago.

We must never allow our past to disqualify us from our future. Regrets we will know and shame we shall experience. Yet, within it all, Jesus finds us and offers a meal of reconciliation. We emerge chastened yet ready to face the future better equipped to love and serve God in humility.

QUESTION: How have you dealt with your past?

PRAYER: Thank you, Jesus, that despite my past, you have reconciled me to God.