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Psalm 51:17 NLT

'The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.'

As we begin Lent, we’ll look at three words associated with repentance – contrition, confession and penitence. In some Christian traditions people will receive ashes, symbolic of choosing to lay sinful practices and events behind them. Originally begun in the fourth century for prodigals, those who had deliberately strayed from their Christian commitment, in the eleventh century it expanded to include all who decided to use Lent to renew their devotion to Christ.

I’ve found the journey of discipleship one of acute inner turmoil, even pain. My early Christian life knew nothing of this inner struggle. Only as I determined to know more of God was I overwhelmed with inner darkness, a loss of orientation and emotions ranging from anger to despair. Concentration diminished and I was restless. My prayer was to discover more of God’s inner light, to live out of grace alone. Yet, my experience was of distraction.

The word ‘contrition’ means ‘ground down’. This best describes my inner experience at this time. Is this what the psalmist means by a “broken spirit” and a “broken and contrite heart” (NIV)?

I discerned pride in my intention. I wanted people to notice, nod approvingly, acknowledging my deepening spirituality. It was self-aggrandisement, bringing a sacrifice so that others might see the scale and quality of my devotion. It had little to do with reverence of God. God was the side show, I was the main attraction. Contrition, I found, is that willingness to live in darkness, in lonely anticipation of God, regardless of the personal cost. True humility is hidden from all but God.

QUESTION: What would stop you from beginning a new adventure of faith with God today?

PRAYER: Lord God, I am far from where I could be, need to be, and only you can lead me there. Only you are the way, the truth and the life.