lystn

Ecclesiastes 3:3b NLT

'A time to tear down and a time to build up.'

One of the most unsettling, yet fulfilling, aspects of my personal journey alongside Katey’s pilgrimage with MS, was the deconstruction process I chose. Exhausted by my complaint to God, I struggled to find any stability in my faith. I was challenged to let go of my faith altogether, but could never deny my initial encounter with Jesus as a teenager. This was too real, and its impact too complete to reject completely, however much I desired to walk away. But my behaviour and mood swings were not reflective of the Christian Way.

I determined to explore what I believed and why in great detail; to place a microscope over my belief system. Anything that didn’t work I would reject; everything that held together I would reinvest in. So I began a journey, as I ran my heart and mind over years of accumulated belief and practice.

My choices lay largely around those things I had adopted as culturally and contextually relevant to find acceptance within the church stream within which I floated. I say ‘floated’ because I had simply been carried along on a rising tide of acceptance and popularity. I’d grown lazy, making few strokes to sustain my journey and failing to challenge much that, on reflection, caused me inner discomfort. My faith was shaped more by my enjoyment and benefits. The actual voice of God had grown dull and my decisions were largely the result of applied reason ahead of faith.

So began a journey of stripping back the accumulated vegetation that had seeded itself on the reality of my initial faith in search of both authenticity and peace.

QUESTION: When was the last time you reflected upon the reality of your faith choices and practices?

PRAYER: Lord God, help me build like a wise man through obedience to the way of your Son, Jesus.