Day 19 - Issue 22
Genesis 32:25 NLT
'When the man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it out of its socket.'
Walking with God leaves clear marks upon us. I was born into a faith that proclaimed that the fruit of following Jesus was love, joy and perpetual inner peace. However, while there is truth in such concepts, and indeed scripture repeatedly promises as much, the fruit is hard won by pursuing God earnestly. Certainly I imagined my life was forever sorted because I made my commitment to Christ. I wasn’t anticipating hardships, and what hardships I encountered I assumed God would take care of. Somewhat like a parent sorting out their child’s wayward behaviour out of love.
This was not to be. Entering the great battle with Katey’s MS, I initially thought God would sort it out in response to prayer and then we would travel the globe with a wonderful testimony of healing. People would respond positively to God and the kingdom would expand. This was both naïve and egocentric. Even in the beginning of the fight, here I was dreaming of promoting my own profile and ministry. I alone was the centre of my own reality; I’d have done well to recall Jacob’s battle to realise his dream.
Like Jacob I discovered after some time that I was wrestling with God and I wanted to know who God was in the context of our own disappointment and fear. My father fought throughout World War Two. From 1939 until demob in 1946 he endured the rigours of war. Three invasions, North Africa, Italy and then D-Day, he fought across Europe to Berlin. In all that time he only had seven days leave. From age 25 to 32 he was engaged in the fight of his and his nation’s life. Years he never got back, and years that left an indelible mark upon him. This is the walk of the disciple. We face challenges in our external circumstances and our character formation. We wrestle with God for fear of losing who we are and what we hold dear, only to discover that only through such a wrestling match are we able to discern who God is and appreciate our true humanity. This was Jacob’s fight and remains our fight.
QUESTION: What are you wrestling with God over?
PRAYER: Lord, give me the wisdom to yield to you.
