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Psalm 8:4 NLT

'What are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them?'

When life is at its worst from my perspective, then I might well find myself asking the question, “What are human beings that you are mindful of them?” It’s said with a strong sense of sarcasm, for my experience carries little of what I imagine is God’s care. In fact it’s all uphill from my side, and then the curse of comparison kicks in and I really feel sorry for myself and aggrieved at God.

Life, it seems, is always surveyed and valued through the eye of the observer. It’s difficult when I feel hard done by to then step into God’s shoes and take a more phlegmatic view. I am all too often the centre of my own universe, somewhat pathetic given my place in the immense galaxy that surrounds me, and which is in totality God’s creation and domain. Certainly battling childlessness, more so walking our journey with MS, it was virtually impossible not to be consumed with my frustration, pain and grievance towards God.

I became the biggest obstacle impeding my view and also my approach to God. I lived in the shadow of my own unpalatable circumstances. Every which way I turned I only caught sight of myself and my situation. As time has passed I am deeply ashamed that unintentionally I was living as if I was the only one with problems in life and in my friendship with God. Now I can see that everyone faces severe tests to their faith in different, yet very personal and real ways, and is called upon to question God’s faithfulness. Where each one of us ends up emerging from such internal, angst-ridden conversation is different. I emerged wounded, yet walking with God, although my Christian understanding radically altered. There were certain spaces I had occupied that I could never revisit as they both recalled my naïve former self and offered very little access to the God I had wrestled with through my valley experience.

QUESTION: How do you view God’s love, care and provision for you? Do you unfavourably compare your situation with other peoples?

PRAYER: Sovereign Lord, thank you that you know and care for each one of us.