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Wait-- why is Claire talking about this if SHE'S still single?!? She knows how but fully admits she's NOT DOING IT, CURRENTLY! Check out Episode 12 first, before you go any further with this episode: I WANT HIM TO MAKE ME HAPPY. Claire reminds us that this podcast is for ALL sexual orientations and genders. Great mindset podcast by Claire's business coach, Stacey Boehman: HOW TO MAKE MONEY AS A LIFE COACH If you're not familiar with Brooke Castillo's thought model-- the main tool Claire uses in her coaching and what Claire's coaches use on her, order: Self Coaching 101 Follow Claire on INSTA! @clairebyrnecoaching Claire owns that she of course has moments of sadness, loneliness and fear, being a single woman. BUT BEING SINGLE IS A NEUTRAL CIRCUMSTANCE, and it's her job and YOUR job to THINK differently about it. To think, feel and behave like he's HERE! While on the search for Mr. Right, it's Claire's and YOUR job to make yourself happy. The work isn't to GET HAPPY WHEN HE'S HERE. It's to be totally fulfilled, confident, certain, calm, relaxed, giddy, and happy AS IF he's here! Claire continues to understand and get clear about men she has dated in recent years and recognizes that her over-drinking with them misled her to believe there were deeper connections happening. NO SHOULDA WOULDA COULDA-ing going on... just constantly getting more clear on what HASN'T worked in her past, and how she wants to continue to learn, grow and evolve, and KNOWS this will bring her closer to him. She shares what her ideal man and relationship looks like... Can you hear how CLEAR and CERTAIN and GIDDY she is about his arrival??! Who's the WOMAN you want to become in order to attract your ideal man?? Claire's ideal version of herself: A woman who doesn't rely on alcohol to relax, take the edge off, or quell her nerves. She's a badass boss babe. Claire makes fun of herself and her single friends/clients who CLAIM they THINK they're doing everything RIGHT, so WHY AREN'T THEY GETTING THE RESULT THEY WANT of finding Mr. Right?? Your thoughts AREN'T working for you. Maybe you THINK you're "DOING ALL THE RIGHT THINGS!" Been on FIFTY dates-- I'm PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE. THe common denominator is YOU. Your THOUGHTS create your RESULTS. The thought is: I'm DOING ALL THE THINGS BUT IT ISN'T WORKING Which makes you feel: Sad, hopeless, discouraged, lonely Then how do you ACT? Swipe from a place of sadness, hopelessness. Maybe you match, and then you realize you're not that into him. Or you force yourself to go out with someone you KNOW you're not that into, but you're doing it for the SAKE of doing it. SO WHAT'S YOUR RESULT? STILL SINGLE So, what Claire does with her clients who's main focus IS to attract Mr. or Ms. Right, is encourage them to SHIFT their THINKING. Claire shares WHY she's not focusing on dating EVEN though she feels like her guy is closer! The work is to give YOURSELF the satisfaction, fulfillment and happiness you're seeking. And yes, even the PLEASURE you're seeking. Check out Claire's bestie, Danielle Savory's podcast, IT'S MY PLEASURE. Claire riffs on this amazing life she has cultivated EVEN WITHOUT him here. As much as she's ready for him to enter when he does, she knows her partner is still gonna piss her off!! Life will still be 50% negative, 50% positive. THERE'S NO THERE, THERE. She refuses to believe that a man coming in will complete the picture. Think, feel and behave like he already is here! Commit!! You get to CHOOSE how you want to THINK about being single. You get to keep evolving into the future version of yourself that you want to become without him physically here. What thoughts can you think TAPPING INTO those giddy feels AS IF HE'S HERE NOW?? OF COURSE HE'S HERE. It was so well worth the wait now that he's here. I needed to go through THAT shitty relationship to learn a big lesson, that led me to Mr. Right.