lystn

You must have heard this from various sources in different ways that – ‘Its not about what happens with you, but its about you react to what happens to you’ or ‘Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it’ or ‘You can’t control everything that happens to you but you can control how react to it’ What does all of these sayings refer to? These sayings simply refer to how we deal with, manage, and react/respond to what happens around us. Since the time we wake up, we are constantly reacting, consciously or unconsciously to the dynamic environment. We react to a broad range of stimuli everyday and most of the times our reactions are not well-thought out, or are usually incidental. You cannot control everything that happens to you, your family members or your friends. You could have a wonderful job but the next day you might have to leave the job due to various circumstances; you would have been in a wonderful relationship but you might have to end the relationship because of timing or expectations. You might have everything that you ever dreamed of but have it all gone by tomorrow. I realised how I can have a wonderful day everyday despite of what happens in the entire day. I decided to move away from the chaos and into the calm. I found my centre by meditating and practicing grounding – by simply being present, seeing what I can see without interpreting or even questioning any thoughts. With practice, I started becoming more aware of how my body feels when I react and how my body feels when I don’t react. I learnt this art by creating a structure around me where other people no longer had the power to affect me; their validation no longer influenced my life’s choices and decisions. Know that the only environment that you and I can control is the internal environment, how we interpret situations and the type of questions we ask ourselves will play a big role in that process. Secondly, try not too react in the moment. Pull yourself back from the situation. Look at the bigger picture. Compose yourself. And then look at the entire situation from various perspectives. The moment you take a step back; you’ll start recognising that with very little practice, how your attitude towards situations have changed, in a better way where you find yourself much more in control. And only when you are in control, you will be able to think clearly. That’s when you need to ask yourself – ‘Do these series of events/situations concern the things that are in my control or not? If they are out of your control, then train yourself not to worry about it at all. What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the way in which we think about them. It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance. Don't demand or expect that events happen as you would wish them do. Accept events as they actually happen. That way, peace is possible. We need to learn to differentiate what we can and can’t control. Within our control are our own opinions, aspirations, desires and the things that repel us. They are directly subject to our influence. It is not external events themselves that cause us distress, but they way in which we think about them, our interpretation of that event and the way we attach meaning to those events. It is our attitudes and reactions that give us trouble. We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.  “I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilised by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain, and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/thehappinessproject/message